I'm sorry. I just wanted to point out the pretty kitty background...I'll go to bed now... well right after I finish my paper and stop pullin my hair out over it... why am I on the internet?... I worry me sometimes.

 

I apologize to everyone who reads this.. it's almost 1, I am stressed, and hyper. That is not a good combination...

OMG KITTY!!! 

ummm I'm sorry if my last blog was unclear in any way. If you have any questions please message me and I will explain, but please don't flame me about my confuseion or anything else because I am simply trying to look at myself honstly to see what is right for me.

Ummm... well hello my name is Serenity and I am not sure.. Well when I initially started looking for a religion that would fit me, I embraced Buddhism, not because I didn't believe in a higher power or anything I was just unsure.  I've begun researching Wicca more and more (almost to an annoying degree says one of my wiccan friends... lol).  I don't know wyhy this seems so hard for me to explain, but I'm going to try and say it right... The last couple of years have opened my eyes to things I couldn't explain logically.. and some not all good, because whenever I see something out of the ordinary my mind automatically goes into think things logically until I know I can't answer it and when I guess it is usually confirmed by my wiccan friend, who has been practicing for serveral years.  Another issue is that though I didn't grow up in an overly religious home it was always kind of there, especially on my Mom's side of the family, and it prevented me from really branching out beyond ghost stories and other things people would say is nonsense.  So basically what I'm trying to say is that I'm a witch in the "broom closet".

Now with the issue of my Wiccan beliefs:  I do believe in the God and Goddess, but I am still slowly and painstakingly researching other branches of paganism (there is an example of my reseach to an annoying degree... lol) just so that I can find that fits me.  The God and Goddess that are my ...I've forgotten the word...Aha!! pantheon God and Goddess are the Egyptian God Anubis and the Goddess Bast. I've always felt a strong connection to all thing Egyptian so I looked them up to be sure and I've settled it for now. If they change in the future to that will be fine too.

Also about buddhism. I am vegetarian, whether or not many pagans do that or not, the reason I became vegetarian was because of buddhism. There are no friction between buddhism and wicca until you get to the point that wiccans use energy to promote change in their lives and therefore wanting.  If you're not familiar with Buddhism the point is kind of to reduce wanting so that you can reduce your suffering.  So... while I sort that out in my own head I will still research wicca, learn more about it and continue my own personal studies in buddhism.